Single mom puts foot down after boss insists on taking meetings at her house: 'My other coworkers told me he doesn't do it this way for them'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 4, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Of all the places where enforcing boundaries is non-negotiable, the workplace has to be at the top of the list. It is all too easy for employees to be exploited and mistreated without the protections of labor laws, HR policies, and some plain old backbone. Despite the deterrents that should be in place, it is amazing what some bosses will try to get away with when it comes to their relationship with those who work with them. They can take liberties that are unacceptable.

The problem is that sometimes it can feel difficult to stand up to these behaviors as an employee, even when you can recognize that they shouldn't be happening. It creates a dilemma: is it worth pushing through the discomfort to keep the peace? The answer to this question is almost always a resounding no, particularly as this can allow a bad situation to escalate. Nonetheless, it can be difficult to deal with.

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  • 01

    AITAH for telling my boss I am not comfortable with him randomly visiting my house?

    I am mid 30s, single mom of an 14 yo daughter. With our two dogs, we are the only ones that live here. I work in marketing and at this exact place for 6 months. My boss is in his early 40s presumably but I don't know his exact age. He might not be married because he doesn't wear a ring but I don't know for sure. Recently my boss has been acting strange towards me. He doesn't want to talk to me at work anymore and prefers to come over to my house during the evenings and chat. I was fine with this
    via Moose-Tradition
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10525409024
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One employee found herself in this scenario after multiple incidents in which her older, male boss insisted on visiting her at home to talk with her about work. This had made her increasingly uncomfortable as he had also stopped speaking with her on the clock, and coworkers had told her that they didn't receive the same treatment.

    Eventually, she asked him to stop taking meetings with her this way, although he protested that this was normal for him. Her coworker claimed she was being cowardly, and she wanted to know if she was in the wrong.

  • 03
    I called him back this morning (I'm on vacation until Monday because july the 4th) and asked him to stop doing meetings this way because it's creepy and i'm not comfortable with doing it this anymore. He told me it's however he generally does it (remember what I said when my other coworkers don't have meetings with him at their houses). I felt uncomfortable. I decided to text a coworker I am friends with and ask her if I did anything wrong by telling him to stop and she said I am acting like a c
    via Moose-Tradition
  • 04
    T
    via Katja Rooke
  • 05

    Commenters did their best to provide advice.

    PomegranateReal3620 NTA - Here's the situation as a former HR employee. If you take something like this to HR, remember that their job is to protect the company, not you. Don't be scared to report, you just have to present it in a way that your goals and theirs are aligned. First, (and this is all US based) there are no laws expressly prohibiting a boss from coming to an employee's home. So I would first read your company's Code of Conduct to see if there is any guidance around contacting employ
    via PomegranateReal3620
  • 06
    Immediately, you have to put on your big girl You need to tell him point blank that all conversations need to happen during business hours at work and that he can't come to your home anymore. You need to do this in writing, so if you want to talk first, make sure you immediately send an email with "per our conversation today, I have requested that the visits to my home will cease immediately." This sets the clock in case his contact continues. Harassment is persistent unwanted contact and you ne
    via PomegranateReal3620
  • 07
    On a personal level, his behavior is sketchy as h_l. When my mom was a new divorcee and single mom, I remember her getting calls at 11:00 at night from guys wanting to "come over." That was code for they thought she was easy, desperate, and available (her words). Furthermore, it's just you and your teenage daughter. There's a reason why single women with daughters marry less often. That's not to say that his intentions are sinister, but they are concerning. You have to be an adult and stand up f
    via PomegranateReal3620
  • 08
    greenwitheverything Why would he ever come to your house for a meeting? It was inappropriate every time, not just now that you're uncomfortable. I would make a formal record with HR. He also needs to be told to not text or call after work hours as well.
    via greenwitheverything
  • 09
    BoopityGoopity Make a record of all the times he's come by. A brief description of each occurrence if possible. Plus note that you've spoken with other coworkers. Go to HR with a printout of this record and your laptop so you can also email them the file for a digital copy as you're in the office with them. Make sure you CC/BCC an external email address as well so they can't wipe it completely (in case your boss has an in with an unethical person in IT). This is the only way it stops.
    via BoopityGoopity
  • 10
    No_Donkey9914 THIS. If you need to file a lawsuit for wrongful termination down the road, you will need these email communications
    via No_Donkey9914
  • 11
    Sanford-And-Anfield NTA. Take this to HR. This is not normal or acceptable behavior.
    via Sanford-And-Anfield
  • 12
    BubblyBubbles1007 You are not the a h le. This is 100% unprofessional. If he has to meet with you, it should be during work hours only. I'm just getting creepy vibes from this guy
    via BubblyBubbles1007
  • 13
    2dogslife What he's doing is a gross overstep. I have had after-work meets (or even lunches) with bosses, but they were always at some neutral location like a coffee shop, restaurant, or bar, and often times included other coworkers. I have never had a boss at my house. I've had coworkers drop me off when previously arranged because of car problems, but I have always held firm lines between work and my private life. It's no longer midcentury when wives stayed home and husbands invited their boss
    via 2dogslife
  • 14
    New-Waltz-2854 As a former manager I can tell you this is 100% inappropriate. I never, ever would stop by an employee's home unless I was invited and other people would be there. You need to tell him to tell him to stop and that if he persists, you will call the police. You can also report him to HR. But you do need to make it very clear that he is not welcome at your home. It is difficult for HR or law enforcement to do anything if you do not tell him no.
    via New-Waltz-2854
  • 15
    forgetregret 1 day NO NO NO NO NO. This is not okay. Please report this to your HR department immediately. Your coworker is an idiot for not telling you that exact same thing and being genuinely concerned for your wellbeing. Work discussions happen at work, not in the home of an employee, much less a male manager in the home of a mom and her young daughter. This is 1000 kinds of wrong. He is in a position of authority over you and acting like a creepy stalker in the name of the company-an import
    via forgetregret1day
  • 16
    Creative_Carrot_7514 You are misunderstanding your friend. You are acting like a coward by not setting clear boundaries and explaining why you are not comfortable with this. Are you Salary and are you in the US? Because if you are in the US and hourly this could be a clear violation of certain laws and union agreements. I would speak directly with HR, explain why you are concerned and don't feel safe, and that you are being put in a uncomfortable position and are documenting things as they come
    via Creative_Carrot_7514
  • 17
    Downtown Area111 NTA. Tell him that you will do your meetings at work. Once you clock out, you do not discuss work. Please do that via Email or text so you have a paper trail. That way if he retaliates against you, take it up with HR!
    via Downtown_Area111
  • 18
    Georgeyboy70 Huge red flag, putting aside any ulterior motive he might have for coming to your house, when you're at home you're off the clock so he should not be contacting you for work purposes. You are well within your rights to say 'no' to speaking to him, tell him you will discuss whatever needs to be discussed when you're in work next.
    via Georgeyboy70
  • 19
    booksdogstravel NTA. Your coworker is a pill. Stop confiding in her. If he requests another meeting with you at home, send him an email saying you would rather do it at the office. If he doesn't respond appropriately, and stop doing this, escalate things to HR. But you need documentation. I find him creepy.
    via booksdogstravel
  • 20
    Kim Possible042 NTA. This is strange behavior. If you have EEO or something similar, I'd go to them before HR. HR is for the company before the employee.
    via KimPossible042
  • 21
    NTA. MonsterofJits Your BOSS is showing up at your house uninvited? Yeah, I'd be calling the cops, your HR, and a lawyer.
    via MonsterofJits
  • 22
    talithar1 Further, work meetings at your home without compensation, is working off the clock. That is a huge labor violation. Hope the company is paying you.
    via talithar1

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